RANCANGAN TERGENDALA

i read a lot recently, especially on pregnancy - just to satisfy my curiosity and getting myself prepared in whatever ways possible. yeah... i'm serious about getting a geminian-rabbit baby girl.

anyway, i have just started off with a few chapters, have not gotten into in-depth on how to push the baby out from the womb yet. slowly ya... i'm still reading on the preparations, not even near the process of conceiving. hahaha...

the book and some other articles in mags actually state that mental & physical preparations are basically and in fact more important than the financial. imagine... from the moment a woman conceives, money starts flying off - to the gynae, supplements, baby's things and so on... what in the world could possibly more important than the financial stability? i find the facts are quite right as i read on...

here are some of them... to be read together (husband & wife):

1. mentally prepared - ask yourself - do you really want a baby? if yes, you are mentally prepared. just a simple question - answer it and jump to point 2.


2. physically prepared - if you want a baby, do you want it to be healthy? if yes, prepare yourself NOW!

a. for those who are smoking - husband, please minimise the number of cigis per day / wife - please quit now!

b. for those who are on regular alcohol consumption - husband, please reduce the intake / wife - quit taking in jack's and switch to yomeishu.

c. for those who are on birth control - husband, you can now stop buying condoms at the moment and save the money in your piggy bank / wife - you can now quit popping in pills and/or remove the diaphragm.

d. for those who think that you are not healthy enough to have a baby - husband & wife, please start planning for a healthier lifestyle (eg. sleep earlier, wake up earlier), take vitamins & supplements (eg. women are talking madly about folic acid for preconception), do a thorough medical check up (eg. a blood test on talassemia minor - this is popular among asians) and please consult doctor for more information.


3. financially prepared - are you still working with income? if yes, you are prepared!

a (i). how much is enough - the answer will be an infinity figure because you'll never know. why don't you take the pressure of forking out the money when you are still young and able to earn an income? for instance, a family with an average annual income of $50K - first baby @ age of 30. average retirement age - age of 60. when your child enrols for university, you are most probably hitting the age of 51 - you are still earning an income, you still have the financial support. bingo...!!

a (ii). on the other hand, a family with the same annual income, first child @ 35, you are left with 4 working years. yeah, you are so right, you are still earning an income, you still have the financial support. but think about this, how long a student needs to study for his master/PHD honour? think...

**by then, it would be much more difficult for you to absorb the pressure of retirement and not able to support your child for higher education**

b. if you think you are not earning enough income to support a family - husband & wife, save a certain amount in bank account every month and start counting down the conceive month and expected due date. you will be able to estimate the amount of money allocated for the whole process - from conceiving to delivering the baby to this wonderful world.

planning is important but don't overly plan. it'll cause unnecessary pressures and add to arguments between husband & wife. plan in a whole, executing it in stages.

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i brought up this topic to hubby and he actually has the same concerns, worries and pressures too. he is such a nice hubby to keep everything to himself as he knows i'm thinking of having a baby. after a several attempts of Q&A, finally he speaks up.

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i acknowledge all that he has in mind. i had all that in my mind before but just that i read, understand, process and absorb what others have experienced. after going through the learning process, i finally know where i'm gonna head to and how i'm gonna make it real.

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i'm trying to make hubby understands too. i really hope that he is equally happy, excited and pressure-free about getting a new life into the family. i'm not sure if he is comforted and i'm starting to worry about his feelings than if i should have a baby now. if he is still uncertain about it, i rather fore go the geminian-rabbit baby girl.

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p/s: honey, i just want you to know that you are the most important person who i care for. i will never sacrifice you for anything/anyone.