DO I LOVE GOD?

i'm very certain of the answer to the above question. but i'm not sure if i love Him in the way He wants me to. thanks God for His words through Pastor Looi this morning. when Pastor Looi asked us to stand up for Him, so shameful that i didn't. i wanted to rise up but something just held me back. i thought i wasn't ready...

later in the afternoon, i attended the spiritual discipline class and again, thanks to sis seng kin for her sharing. it enlightened me so strongly that i'm now fully ascertained that i'm ready to surrender my all to Him and i'm ready to let Him enters my heart.

i think the biggest problem that pulls me back from my acknowledgement for God is my parents-in-law. they are the strongest buddhists in the world! i really can't imagine what would be their reactions if i confess to them.

God always reminds me to surrender my worries and let go my burdens on Him but i have been disobedient all this while. thanks God that i heard Him this afternoon - just love Him and nothing else. they will be no 'but / or / and / whatsoever that follows - just love Him!

not forgetting to thanks God for sending me a super understanding husband. he always being supportive in whatever i do for God - without questioning / disallowing / troubling me.

i'm ready for confession when God calls. i have no worries now. i can now pray, worship and praise the Lord with all of my heart.

NO RESOLUTION FOR 2010

i can't imagine i have not visited and updated my blog for a month. i'm not gonna take 'year end closing' as an excuse anymore. it is just simply because i'm lazy - hahaha... the biggest confession in 2009!!

i went through this period of time quietly - trying to understand, analyze, study and 'feel' myself. i've been asking myself the same questions for the past few years - what do i want to do this year, what do i want to achieve this year - in short - resolutions!

i used to have dozens of resolutions but most of them are left undone, incomplete and unaccomplished. to avoid further disappointments, i've decided not to set resolutions this year. haha... i'm in the stage of withdrawal and denial - i got these words from the motivation talk that i attended last year.

better to have it said in this way - i want to have a more relaxing year ahead. it's hard to sing 'let it be', moreover i'm letting it be.

my this new 'let it be' attitude was actually inspired by a friend. she said this to me - who the hell are you to change the world? you believe in our tag line - you can make a difference? don't be so naive lah... how old are you oh...? just remember, do your very very best in whatever you are doing. if you get what you want, then good. if you don't, at least you have tried your best. what else do you feel you need to regret for?

it sounded negative but it could be a positive message too. i tend to complain before acting on a task, either existing or newly assigned. 'why do i need to do this? why not him to do this? why so troublesome? what is this for, nothing better to do?! why me? why me?? why me???!'

'why me...?' because it is my time to glow and show to myself what i got inside!
'why me...?' because this is a precious opportunity to know my value to myself.
'why me...?' simply because i'm a capable person that my boss remembers at once.

this isn't from any motivation talks, this is self experience. without an opportunity, no matter a good or a bad one, i can never show up myself. i'm gonna grab it hard and tight, work it out with passion and for sure i will get what i want.

all i need to do now is to be CONSISTENT, PERSISTENT, CONFIDENT & DISCIPLINED.

i'm all geared up and on my way to get what i want in life.

how about you?